I seem to have left my pride at pride
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
