dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
