she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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