Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Liz is crying about burritos again.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
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