And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
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