but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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