i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
