White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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