i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
It's just like the Real World with babies
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
