you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Is it because I queefed?
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
