It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Randomize
