First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
