Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize