just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I just had sex on a roof
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
