So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
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