I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
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