It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
