I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
