So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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