So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Randomize
