what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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