I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
and you fell through a lawn chair
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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