i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
