Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
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