Where is the hickey?
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
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