that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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