ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
