can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Randomize
