For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Randomize
