My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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