im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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