Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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