It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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