hell yes lets make some ravioli
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
