I have demons in me.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
