haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
At least make sure they are 18
Why
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Randomize
