I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
