yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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