I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
