she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Randomize