you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Randomize
