so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Randomize
