I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
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