His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
they're like a gay fantastic four
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
