woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
just tell him i said nine months
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Randomize
