I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize
