Cold hands, warm shart.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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