No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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