I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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