Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
