totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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