He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
