I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
