Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
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