OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
