I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
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