Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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