Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
