whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
The uberlube is also flammable
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
