I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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