jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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