Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
