i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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