I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I wish there were birth control emojis
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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