Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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