Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
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