her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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