i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
