Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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