she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Randomize
