'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
