hell yes lets make some ravioli
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
