Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
