i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
How naked do you want me to be?
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