until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Randomize